#30

Taken @Sg, Dec 2010. How much I've been missing this city. I need an escapade there soon. 

"Live all you can: it's a mistake not to. It doesn't matter what you do in particular, so long as you had your life. If you haven't had that, what have you had?"

- Daily Writing #6 -

• Slept at 2am yesterday night because I just couldn't fall asleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, this has been happening for a month now. Every night. :( Am freaking sleepy now and the office hour has just started. D:
• Went out at the same time today as yesterday but took a much longer time to reach the office.
• The sun was already glaring at my sight even though I have yet to reach halfway of the journey. It rises so early today. 
• Urgh, super duper mad at cars that don't know how to put on their signal when changing lanes. Is that so difficult to put on the signal. D:
• Every morning, i made my own milo and then when I finish my milo. I would get some coffee since the tealady made it for us. :D
• Had a sudden obsession with Pandas. They are so cute, soft and huge! Am thinking of getting Pandas plushie now and put my teddy into the closet. Ahahaah! They just eat and eat, don't move also cute enough already! Awww. :D
• The colleague gave me so many new red packets. and she asked me to pass it to my mum -___- 
• Went shopping a lil' for shoes after work. Didn't see the ones that I like. Took like exactly an hour to reach home with dinner ready on the table. Bliss. :)

#27

Taken @midvalley: Pre-Cny 2013

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: We all want everything to be okay. We don't even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough." 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder? 250km. Again. :/

#25

-Daily Writing #5-

• Slept kinda late last night coz I had problem sleeping nowadays and almost got up late because I couldn't hear my alarm. Zzz. It happens all the time. and now am regret, coz the office hour has just started and am sleepy already. The tea lady has yet to make coffee, and am too lazy to make it on my own. Couldn't stand myself. Haha! 
• Sucha rainy Friday morning. I think it has been raining for like more than 12 hours -__-. I guess many people is on leave today that the traffic was not that bad even with the rain. :) 
• Had my teddy biscuits for breakfast. Oh you know, that biscuit in the teddy shape. Extremely adorable, feeling extremely happy eating them. Nomss! I still want my coffee :( 
• Lunch was 2 hrs today. and guess wad. Nasi lemak again. T_T See, told ya. Working life is all about nasi lemak. Meh meh meh! Why not pan mee?
• It looks like it's gonna rain again. Please don't rain T_T
• Raining like crap, and the traffic was so bad that I u-turn back to office. :(
• Went for dinner alone and I ate so fast because so many people texting me pestering me to eat faster and go home -___-
• Managed to get home in an hour + time. Feeling relieved that I didn't went home just now, if not I would've taken more than 2 hours. 
• Finally, sitting on the comfy couch with my laptop. 
• The leg is soooo tiring after wearing heels whole day and having to drive so long on the road. 
• It's the weekend tomorrow. So happy! :D

#22

-Morning Write #1-

• Having difficulties falling asleep last night, and it lasted for like an hour. Woke up later today and went out at the same time as ystd. But reached office a lil' later than ystd. This sounds damn cheong hei. Nvm lar. I just wanna write whatever that I feel like writing.
• Oh, reaching the office before the sun rises. Overlooking the view outside the window. The ldp, the neigbourhood, the buildings. Spectacular view. It would be awesome if there's ocean view. Ahaha think too much I know. No sign of sun yet, maybe it's mendung today.
• Went to the myNews shop to get 2 packets of nasi lemak, 1 for Anh. and the guy in the shop thought I were to eat 2 packets of nasi lemak when he asked if I need two spoons -___-. Like duhh, of course 2 spoons larrr. 
• Listening to the Krappi Call on Flyfm website and had a good laugh. Errp, I think my colleagues probably think I ki siao. again. -___-
• Had nasi lemak breakkie with Anh.
• Still don't see the sun yet. That's weird. 

End of the early morning writing. 

#21

-Daily Writing #4-

• Woke up extremely early today just to get out of the house earlier to avoid the jam. Monday's traffic is beyond terrible. In the end, I took a longer time in the bathroom. But still managed to go out like 5 mins earlier than usual. -___- I know. Reached the car park a lil' early like the barrier of the car park has just open in time. 
• Driving to work today with so many negative thoughts running on mind, stereo is on with the emo songs and the traffic is crawling. :(
• Nescafe + biscuit for breakfast and some daily reads on the net. 
• Rushing the work that I've been doing like since I started work. There's like more than 30 excel sheets and hundreds of millions of data -___-. Amended all again last week because am supposed to add in Dec figures. Yay, so happy I am done with it. But I think I would need to amend. D:
• Ohh, there's some colleagues belanja-ing food again today. They were discussing how to differentiate different types of duku langsat or whatsoever fruits alike larr. I am confused also. Nvm that, can eat will do. 
• Went out for lunch with Anh @1233pm and we waited for the lift for 3 times. First time seeing so many staff going out for lunch at this early. Usually it's just me & anh going out @1230 sharp. 
• There's actually no need to go for lunch today, as there's some colleagues belanja packets of nasi lemak. But me & anh were like craving for mcd. Oh lemme tell you about nasi lemak, it sounds like working life is all about nasi lemak. Breakfast you could have the small packet, you know those with few bites only type of nasi lemak. Lunch you could have the medium size packet from everywhere in 1u. Then at night, you could have the fancy type of nasi lemak like those in pappa rich or wad. I could eat 3 meals of nasi lemak here. -___- So boring. 
• Realizing that fast food ain't a favourite to working people here. The fast food shops here are like twice or thrice smaller than the ones in pyramid. You can imagine how small it is and you can always get a place here easily. Unlike those in pyramid, it's so huge but there's so many people that sometimes you can barely find places to seat especially during peak hours. 
• Done with work and I went to search for coffee again in the pantry. Asked the tea lady which is coffee powder, which is milo powder. I think she is laughing at me, or maybe thinking this girl so stoopid don't know how to differentiate between milo or coffee. Aduii, the two looks the same to me. So she told me her making drinks schedule. and the best thing is she will make milo, teh tarik and coffee for like 3 times a day. :DDD 
• I have to stop eating mentos. I can eat like 3-5 in the morning just because am hungry and like 3 after lunch time just because I want to bite something. My gigi will hilang if I continually eating mentos more than drinking water. This is scary, I ain't lao ah ma yet. D: Whatmore I just stock up my mentos. 
• What's weird about today is that the stereo didn't put the Terima Kasih Malaysia song today. I think. Or maybe it's just me that didn't hear it. 
• There's always 3 mobile's ringtones that will always beep everyday. and their tones are like latest hitz songs. Aduii, can they not put it to the loudest. -___- So annoying listening to the same ringtones everyday. Or perhaps they could try changing their ringtones everyday if they know it's gonna ring every single day. So that I wouldn't get bored listening to their ringtones. Like "errr this fella's mobile again". D:
• Left office and I thought of getting something from popular, in the end I splurge on a Richard Clayderman CD. Didn't even went to check out the thing that I want. D:
• Today's Flyfm's crappy call is probably the best I've ever heard. Really made my day. Laugh so hard in the car, people probably thought this girl ki siao. -___- Ohhh I would like to hear it over and over again. Dung Krappi Dung Dung Motor Works! Omg! I hope they have a podcast. 
• Instant noodle for dinner again. Oh am grateful it's raining now. If it rains after work, I guess I would have only reach home now. 

Time to be strong and face my fears. 

#20

In reality, happiness slips off easily. Everything is not as nice as it seems. T_T

"I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow" 

#19

-Daily Writing #3-

• Woke up extremely early today and had a pretty productive morning. :)
• Pan mee for lunchie. Ahhh my fav food. I can have pan mee everyday. Can I? But seeing that it's made of flour, and if I were to eat that everyday, I can assure that you will see obese xuannie very soon. But it's the only food that can excite me and make me happy. So today we went to this other pan mee shop, not Jojo and not noodle house that I always visit. This pan mee shop which has a pretty interesting name, Ha Ha Xiu. 
• Craving for some raw salmon right now. Yummeh! 
• Spend some time at Pacific Coffee Company with the dearest after one week. Coffee, hot chocolate, laptop and notes. Doing our own stuff, but it's the companion that matters. 
• Went for a walk at the playground in the evening after like 2 months? 
• There were like sooooo many cute lil' kids. Like freaking many of them. Extremely adorable when they walked imbalance in their cute lil' crocs. Awww, am starting to like kids. I think? Good sign huh. 
• While the maids accompany the lil' kids around the playground, there's another scene of old people gathering around chit-chatting.
• Ohh and also in the another corner, there's some ... i mean there's a lot of primary school kids playing football. 
• Wondering where's all the teenagers and young adults. -__- Probably at home staring at the screens. 
• Seeing parents playing badminton with their kids, I would definitely do that too in the future. Just because am craving to play badminton. Haha!
• Went dinner eating fish head noodles. Errp, if I have the choice, I would not eat fish head noodles. Can they not put ginger in it. Like so many of them? I have to pick them out one by one. T_T
• Realize I have not been bringing my camera out these days. Should start picking up that habit again and capture everything. Picture turns into great memories. :) Be it just a bowl of pan mee or a cup of coffee. <3

Today's quote would be this: 

"I often hear people say that they read to escape reality, but I believe that what they’re really doing is reading to find reason for hope, to find strength. While a bad book leaves readers with a sense of hopelessness and despair, a good novel, through stories of values realized, of wrongs righted, can bring to readers a connection to the wonder of life. A good novel shows how life can and ought to be lived. It not only entertains but energizes and uplifts readers."

#18

-Daily Writing #2-

• Friday's traffic indeed different from Monday & Tuesday. Took like less than an hour to reach office. :)
• Kak Ina made kuih kasui & kuih cara. So yummy, it's my first time hearing these kuih thou. and the food is always put beside my table. So everyone literally will come over to eat. -___- Everytime.
• 2 hours lunchie time today. Thought wanna go to Kluang station initially because am craving for nasi lemak, but we got lost in 1u -__-. So we had lunch @penang flavours at last. Ohh had my nasi lemak craving fixed. 
• Didn't wanna be a light bulb, so awkward. So I went walking around for awhile after lunchie since we had like an hour to go. 
• The way from new wing to old wing in 1u is really dreadful. So freaking far. D: 
• The stereo in the office is on 24/7 -__-. Freaking sleepy hearing those songs. 
• Went to check out the traffic @ldp outside the window with Anh @5pm, the jam has already started. :(
• Anh was pestering me to pack at 530pm sharp, but I told her am so reluctant to go home after seeing the traffic from the window. 
• Talked a lil' to the desk neighbour, Lina before leaving office. She's sucha sweet & quiet girl. 
• Took 2 hours to get home, so freaking bored on the road. I did stretching, I sent text, I move around, I ate biscuit. -.-
• Discovered a new restaurant with mumsie and had some chinese food for dinner. Am so gonna put on weight if I continuously having outside food for 2 meals everyday. :(

Came across this and I find this so true:

"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too".

Weekends is here but it's gonna be Monday blue soon. 

#17

- Daily Writing -

• Woke up from sleep so many times that it's a daily routine now. 
• Went out from the house 5 mins later than usual and the traffic was so much different. The traffic is forever crawling in the morning. 
• Reached office and greeted Lina morning - my desk neighbor. 
• There's no hot milo + packet biscuit for me today. I had warm plain water + egg tart. 
• Looking out at the view outside the building. It was magnificent, seeing the sun rises and getting brighter. Gotta remind myself to walk towards the window tomorrow morning and check out the view. 
• Abang Man came to work and the first thing he does everyday would be switching on the stereo, and that same song over and over again everyday. Freaking many times, that the colleagues would sing along -___-. That Terima Kasih Malaysia song. -___- again. 
• Decided to walk on the road to the mall instead of taking lifts twice to get there for lunch.
• Jusco food court again for lunch and our favorite dry pan mee. It doesn't taste as good as those outside, but still the best among other stalls inside the food court. The chicken rice soup that I had yesterday at the same place had yellow oil floating on the surface. D: 
• Bought jellybeans back to office as snack. 
• Having terrible stomach cramps and couldn't work. So I took a rest, move around and scribble on my financial statements paper -__-. and I guess the paper turned into a zoo full of weird animals. 
• Drank tonnes of warm water today. It feels so yummy. 
• Went shopping for fruits again with Anh after work. The girl wants to buy some fruits over to her bf's hse. Ended up getting nothing thou.
• So reluctant to leave the mall because I didn't want to drive through the jam for 2 hrs with stomach cramps. :( But i've no choice and I made it. -__- Today's traffic is not that bad, I took an hour half to get home. 
• Sang along My Love - Westlife and press the repeat button for so many times. 
• Listen to the phat fabes & ben crappy call and managed to laugh a lil'. 
• Everyday I listen to the same song on the stereo over & over again. So many same song in a day. Can they change the songs, please? T_T
• Came home to hearing the neighbour yelling at the dogs "boy, girl". Just like how I always called out my babyleo "boy". Nah, I don't call, I yell. lol.

Tomorrow. and tomorrow. Shall be the same routine. 

and something that I realize: 

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need." 

Just yesterday, I got so tired and hated myself for being upset for the same old reason again. Sigh. 

2013: #16

- The 16th day of 2013: The first post of the year -

I remember every year, I've the same resolution, to be stronger as the year goes on. But today, I feel as weak as usual. I've not grow a lil' stronger at all. Last year was a rough and tough year, it was filled with emotionally draining and that anxiety has managed to take a toll on me. Most of the days I find myself having extreme emotion, I could be so happy just because of the littlest thing but I could also be so upset about the littlest thing ever. How silly I could be. What is wrong with me? People always said that what happened in the past shaped the way you are. After going through the roller coaster years, it seems like am still the same weak girl that couldn't learn how to control her emotions. Most of the time, it would be celebratory-year-end. But, last year, I find myself drowning in anxiety and blankness.  

On the bright side, am grateful that last year was the year I gain friends that truly care about me. Friends that gave me encouragement whenever I am upset. Friends that never leave me no matter how pessimist I am. Friends that never gave up on me no matter how hard I tried to push them away. Friends that know me so well and every details that what I want. I feel very much loved, and very thankful having them. I can have awesomest friends that help me through my ups and downs and for they are always there whenever I need them. I guess am the happiest when I feel so much being loved. :')

2013. The year didn't start off well. As much as I hope it do. :( This year is gonna be a turning point for me, where I hope everything would be well. When people always asked "2013, please treat me well". I need to remind myself of my goals and yes please, I will make 2013 a better year for me. Hopefully? Too much doubts.

“We all can use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything is gonna be okay and that there’s gonna be someone there to help make sure of that.”

—	One Tree Hill