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Today is a very special day where the leaplings celebrate their birthday once every 4 years. I don't think I have any friends who were born on this day. But still, Happy Leap Year. We were given one extra day this Feb, so why waste it? Do something different today! Just a suggestion, not like I did something different today.

" I feel safer when I'm alone I know it sounds weird but there's something calming about the sound of silence and sitting by yourself to just listen."  -saw this somewhere in tumblr 

I've been thinking that perhaps I am a weirdo. Or maybe I really am. Even my brother thinks I am. I like to stay at home rather than going out if there's nothing to do outside. My point is most of the time I am the #foreverhomealone kid. In fact, instead of feeling frustrated being home alone because there's no one to talk to, I pretty enjoy myself being alone at home. 

It's always like that when I wake up, I find myself alone in the quiet house. I wear my big, loose and comfy pajamas and started doing my daily routine. I read the newspaper, I do the laundry, I feed the boy, I make breakfast or maybe brunch for myself, I clean the house, I watch the tv. By the time I am done with all these, it's gonna be noon then. 

You see, I enjoy being alone and I really feel safer at home without the need to hold my bag and laptop all the time just like when I am outside. It get worse if I go to the cinema, the dark environment where you can't even see your steps and the risk of falling off the steps are pretty high. I check my belongings all the time just like a total paranoid. Sometimes, I think I have this paranoid personality disorder. But I guess it's just the insecure feeling that I have all the time. It's bothering me that I think I don't enjoy what I was doing with my friends. Just for example, watching movies in the cinema, I get so distracted by myself for checking my bag tonnes of time and not just sit back and watch the movie. 

What's wrong with me? This lil' monster inside me, I mean my insecure feeling making me restless and frustrated. and what worse is I don't know how to get rid of it. This just sucks. D: 

When I am at home, I tend to do weird things. I could sit somewhere else on the stairs and just do nothing. I sit there and enjoy the quietness at home, I look around and stare at the white walls. I just let my mind wander. Then I started thinking and pondering questions like what is life and what am I actually doing? The thing about being alone is so calm and relaxing. Life is great. 

Oh I guess by the time you finish reading this post, you will be so positive that I am a weirdo. Heh. 

So Feb ends like that. Hello to March?