Page 87: Uncertainties

Today is a tough day. Spending more than 11 hours in uni but most of the hours spent were torturing, filled with fear and lost. I am grateful to have Graceey and Elaineey with me today. Thankyou dearies for being the courage in me, I don't know what to do without both of you. Thankyou so much for being there for me. I really need to be strong. 

Page 86: Things just don't stay the way it is

"It has just been one of those days where you just want to give it all up, run away from your life, be someone else." (Pick this up from a blog)

I guess this sentence explains well how am I feeling today. The new semester started today, but everything feels so different. Had been emotionally unstable, most of the time so many thoughts are playing on my mind. I looked into the air and my thoughts are struggling. I wish I could write down exactly what and how am I feeling, it's just that I find it difficult to put it in words.

If you know me well, I never like changes. I like things to stay the way it is. I don't like the feeling of having to adapt again to the whole new situation. Wouldn't things be better if it stays the way it is. Forget about the business world or the world outside, don't tell me crap about the world is constantly changing and we need to this and that as much as we always read that from the text books. I am talking about emotions, feelings and people. I know people are temporary, they don't stay with you forever and nothing stays the same forever. But still why? Why it has to be like that. I always hated the "what ifs". Urghhh. I think I need to stop doing all the overthinking. Just let it be because there will be an answer. Really? I am kinda lost right now, I need to pick up myself again. :( Coming back to this again, it's just a matter of getting used to it. 

If only I am strong. 

Page 85: Kenangan Terindah

Samsons: Kenangan Terindah 

"Bila yang tertulis untukku

 Adalah yang terbaik untukmu

 Kan kujadikan kau kenangan

 Yang terindah dalam hidupku

***

Hey, I know this song above sounds so like boyfriend to a girlfriend. Well, indeed. But I would like to dedicate it to my dad. I miss you daddy, haven't been getting to type or shout this word out. The word daddy still sounds better than papa right? No offence. :)

Page 83: Sing Along!

Hey there. I spent my day with my high school table neighbor singing karaoke. :))) *happy day indeed. Blabbered so much almost about everything. 

Ohai, that's our silly faces. 

She just enjoy taking so many self-take photos. Haha! 

(: 

"You're gonna lose people in your life. and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how much you appreciate them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough."

Page 82: Fashion?

 Ohai, yesterday was I don't know how to describe. 1st time attending fashion show and a close shave. Not gonna talk about the close shave thing, thinking of that still making me trembling. But am grateful that I woke up in my comfy bed and see the sunshine today. Hypophrenia hits me. I am feeling sad for no apparent reason. Losing appetite towards food, constantly feeling like tearing and I find most of the things meaningless. Maybe it's just one of those days that I am back to being the pessimist. Apathetic. Imma stop talking about that. 

A friend gave us the tickets and that's how we got the opportunity to watch our first ever fashion show. I mean by sitting there and watching it not like those in the shopping mall. It was interesting, and I wonder how the models walk in such killer heels on those unstable temporary stage and still able to portray the best of the outfit (designs) they were wearing. *salute. These young designers/designers-to-be are really creative and looking at how they design the outfits with recycle stuff just amaze me. They turned recycle stuff, those that we usually throw off into great artwork. Totally amazing. :)

Photo credits to Jo. She captured them all. :)

Page 80: Pretty much about LIFE

Hey there, today has been quiet. Just like yesterday. Woke up and did all the house chores just like a house-maker. Gonna eliminate the word: housewife from my dictionary, that word is a bit too bias. Don't you think so? Let's see what I had been doing today, I know you wouldn't be bothered, but I just need to write them down just to make this post longer. After all, this is all about my theseeverydaystories right? 

So I did the laundry first thing after I woke up, swept and mopped the floor, fed my dog and hang the clothes. You know you are almost there like a house-maker when all you discussed when you see your neigbours' uncle and maid are about the weather. Talking about "oh, today it's sunny, good for the clothes/oh, looks like it's gonna rain, better not hang the clothes outside". See? Conversation like that, that's all that I talked in the morning. 

Finally, making brunch for myself after all the house-chores, boiled water to make coffee, fried egg and tada, coffee and egg for brunch. Then you know what's next? I switched on the TV and read the newspaper doing both at the same time. Then, it's laptop staring time, today it's all about Tiffany Alvord youtube channel. The One That Got Away has been on replay, awww! Getting bored of the laptop, I headed to the bicycle and exercise! Then I picked up a book and then I played the piano for a bit. That's pretty much sum up 3/4 of my day. 

Talking about life, today I came across seeing a few of my friends' friend getting married at our age. I wonder isn't it a bit too early getting married? One of my friend tweeted saying that one of her friend in our age is already having a 2 years old child. That means by the time she's 40 years old, the kid gonna be at our age. And before 50 years old, she would be a grandma then. Erm, that's so scary. My point is our life is just at the beginning, we have yet to do things we like, we are just beginning to wander around what's life about and what we want. Just too scary seeing people getting married at our age. Marriage commitment already?  It's like skipping the young adult phase of life towards the marriage phase already. That's a bit too fast. Very. Scary. Indeed. 

Here, I came across this long quote which I find very meaningful. 

"Life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends and you gain friends. You realize your friend wasn't ever really your friend, and that person you used to hate can make a really good friend. You look for love. You find love and you lose love. You realize all along that you've been loved. You laugh, you cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn't done that. You then learn from that and are glad that you did. You have your ups and you have your downs. You see good movies and you see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and are glad that you're you. You love life and you hate life. In the end, you just find yourself being happy to be living life, no matter what is thrown at you."

"In the end, you just find yourself being happy to be living life, no matter what is thrown at you."

Someday, I believe I would. Just not now. Someday.  

Reality hurts.

All in a sudden, reality hits at me. I am really not prepare yet. It's gonna be tough and a long way to go. How am I gonna deal with this? All alone? It seemed that I do not have enough courage than I know I have. I thought I could deal with it, but looks like am bothered by the whole thing. Right now, am frustrated and depressed. I couldn't concentrate in doing stuff now. I am afraid, afraid that I won't be able to deal with myself, and everyone else. Insecurities hurts. I really need to pick up the pieces and build them up again. Tell me how? 

Page 79: #3 Putrajaya Hot Air Balloon Fiesta & Convocation

Hello again, I know you are sick of me already. Just bear with me, updates gonna end soon. This is the last updates about last week. On Saturday, woke up in the morning and laze too much that Frau acted like ah ma kept asking us to get ready (she's so gonna kill me, but nvm). So we headed to Putrajaya in the NOON, only to realize there weren't any hot air balloons in the noon. Only in the morning or evening. Errrp, wasted going all the way there. But at least we got to take some pictures and went up to the Monumen Alaf Baru. Parted with frau they all since they were going to Ikea, and we headed off to cousiee's convocation. Congrats dear bro (nerdy but stylish) with first class honours, *envy! Had an awesome dinner with them (the food at Restaurant Stadium Negara @Jalan Yap Kwan Seng were VERY very delicious!) and shopping time at Pavilion. Had been a year since I last see my couz bro. Went to buy Ochado with him, and it's so weird when a guy (stranger) asked me if my cup of Roasted Pearl Milk Tea was actually soya bean. :O Sucha weirdo stranger. 

Finally done with all the updates. :)

Page 79: #2 Ikea Adventure

Hello there. Finally, going out with Lavee & Khairul to Ikea after saying it for years. Unbelievable, had been talking about going to Ikea together for every sem break and it never works out. 15th March gonna be a day in the history where the plan finally worked out. Before we reached Ikea, there was an accident happened i think 1 minute before us on ldp? Sucha close shave, thank god we made it to Ikea safely. It was also Lavee's first time where she properly visit and walked the entire Ikea. Fun fun fun, us looking at household stuff/furniture planning planning time. Then lunch time, Lavee seriously had a problem in deciding. Walked to the curve then e@curve, the girl still couldn't decide where to it. :O Lunch with them was bliss! We spent hours inside the restaurant and talked through out the whole makan session. Oh, I think I had been eating too much already, at night I had pizza with aunt for dinner because my mom and another aunt were having a good time shopping @midvalley without US. Had been eating pizza so frequently, :O. But still, nom nom is happiness :)))  

Page 79: #1 Aunt's Birthday Celebration

Hey there, I have so much to update. Last week had been a great week spending most of the time with the family. Haven't been updating because I had been going out everyday with the family that am so tired to blog at night. Not to mentioned had been hooked up with draw something apps too. So yeah, reached home at night I spent time playing draw something only that I barely touch my laptop at all. Today, marks less than a week till my holidays end. Am so not prepare for the next sem :( I have so much to do more. So here are the updates. 

Celebrated aunt's belated birthday on the 14th March @Secret of Louisiana. They had these awesome crew who played the guitar and sang birthday song. So much fun! The food was okay, this was my 2nd time there. Previously was the lunch buffet at this place with the unimates. There were 8 choices of spaghetti and you can eat all you want. The price is reasonable and it's still ongoing. If you are a spaghetti lover, try the lunch buffet. :) 

We went over to Taylor's Lakeside campus for a walk before heading back. Ahhh, that beautiful campus. How I wish my campus is this pretty too! Coming soon, but I don't think I will get to enjoy that. Meh.