-It's just a matter of getting used to it.-

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Page 221: If time stands still




#1 I re-arranged all the clothes in my wardrobe. I think I've nothing better to do. From left, some casual dresses, to my favorite polka-dots collection, my favorite chiffon shirts, my favourite button shirts and knitted sweaters. 
#2 My long-pants! 5 black long pants and 2 blue-jeans. That is why you always see me in black long pants in uni. Mum insisted that I have to wear long pants to uni. So no shorts at all. :)
#3 Ahh, this BRATs shirt that left me with so many good memories back in 2007. 4 days camp seemed like it's has been a part of me already. Reminiscence. 

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Can't Go Back - Rosi Golan #nowplaying 

"When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time. You'd be shocked at how many adults are really dead inside - walking through their days with no idea who they are, just waiting for a heart attack or cancer or a Mack truck to come along and finish the job. It's the saddest thing I know." 
-Laurie Halse Anderson 

As usual, I read up on quotes again. and as usual I find quotes that reflect the truth in me. Mood swing. How many times have I been faking my answer that I am fine when I am actually not at all. Pretending is easy, but every time i die a lil' inside. I write to release. But I struggle with the words if the words would reflect my true feelings. The buddy talked to me yesterday, but I replied coldly telling him that I am not in the mood. He understands me well knowing that I would continue replied coldly to whatever he would ask, he said okay and left me alone with my thoughts. The bestie told me yesterday that she wants to escape to somewhere not knowing where, but she continued with this question if anyone would miss her if she's gone to somewhere else. and I told her "noooo, I would miss you". But at the same time, I was thinking if I could also escape to somewhere, if only I could. I have been very different for this whole month, I wish I knew what to do with myself. 

"Sometimes I wish I never had to sleep. Sometimes I think that if I stay very, very still, if I never move at all, things will change. I think if I freeze myself I can freeze the pain. Sometimes I won't move for hours. I will not move an inch. If time stands still nothing can go wrong." 
-Taherah Mafi 

If. 
But "Some things you can't go back to, some things need left alone" 

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